


put a price on your love, it’s priceless

by hoodiestrings



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, High School AU, M/M, its a gift to the sweetest person in the world, they all are teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoodiestrings/pseuds/hoodiestrings
Summary: It used to feel like victory but now it feels like I failed. People call me kind-hearted and for what? Maybe I hold doors open for my classmates. Maybe I give up my seats to old ladies in buses. Maybe I slip extra candy to children who come to the restaurant I work at. But underneath all, under all the selflessness, I am a monster.A monster who broke your heart.( spoilers: heartbreak, letters and happy endings )
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Harry Styles
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	put a price on your love, it’s priceless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SassyInkMonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyInkMonster/gifts).



> it's my girl's birthday soon!!! happy early birthday, jan!!! aise hi hasti rehna!!! love you <3

_It had seemed like a good idea at first._

''Are you sure it would work?" Niall asks, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Harry gives him a smile. It was supposed to be confident (even though he is feeling anything but), but it comes out like a grimace instead: unsure, shaky and scared. Exactly how he is feeling. "I'm ... not," he admits, and downs his coffee in one go. It's sweet, too sweet even for him. But it washes down the bitterness in his mouth and fills the emptiness in his stomach. Just a little bit. His mouth is dry, "I have to try."

He has to try.

_It used to feel like victory but now it feels like I failed. People call me kind-hearted and for what? Maybe I hold doors open for my classmates. Maybe I give up my seats to old ladies in buses. Maybe I slip extra candy to children who come to the restaurant I work at. But underneath all, under all the selflessness, I am a monster._

_A monster who broke your heart._

He sees Liam in the distance. He looks tired. There are bags under his eyes visible even from down the hallway. 18 year old Liam suddenly looks like he's 54. He doesn't realise he is staring until Liam meets his eyes. There's a guilt in them that sends Harry's stomach churning. So he ducks his head down and avoids his gaze. It's always easier to blame someone else, after all. 

_Liam was being a good friend to me. And I was angry at you for things that shouldn't even matter. Liam was driven by his sense of duty to let me know what he heard, and I was driven by anger. That's no excuse, of course it isn't. But that's all I have. That's all I can say. I can't excuse myself because it doesn't bring you back to me._

_Guess we forgot you are a human too. A human who is more than just skin and flesh and bones, a human who feels things beyond what is there on the surface. And that's beautiful, Zayn._

_You think so deeply I sometimes wonder how you sleep at night._

Liam had barrelled into the restaurant he and Niall works at one night. He had a smile on his face, the kind of guilty, secretive smile when you know something you shouldn't have. Harry was wiping down the tables and Niall had his back against a chair as they waited for Liam to speak. "Zayn likes you, Harry" he had said, without beating around the bush. Harry had dropped the rug, and Niall had dropped himself on the floor.

Niall had lain groaning on the floor, and Harry had glared at Liam. "Don't be an idiot."

But Liam had shaken his head, "I promise. I heard him and Louis talking about you in PE today."

"If Zayn liked me," Harry sighed, picking up the fallen rug "then he wouldn't have been continuously teasing me about my hair and my clothes and my anything, really."

And so, the matter was lost.

Until the next day, that is. Harry was leaning against his locker and Niall was jabbering about a new show he had watched last night. And then he had gasped and hissed, "Zayn is staring at you."

That was three months ago.

_I wish I could tell you that when I found out about your crush, the first thing I felt was anything but smugness. But I can't lie to you. Not anymore. I was angry at every remark you have made towards me, even the harmless ones. And no, it's not your fault at all. But I wanted to hurt you._

_And so the decision was made._

_I gulped down my fear and took my chances and confessed to you about some feelings that I didn't have. Not at that time, at least. And you were so happy. I can't say I fell in love with you at once, Zayn. I fell in love with you through every word you said, every piece you shared, every picture you painted. I fell in love with every atom of you until I loved the whole and I couldn't lie anymore._

Harry came clean to Zayn after two months of dating. He had hope in his heart that maybe, maybe Zayn could see past this, and see straight into Harry's eyes and every emotion he feels for him. But he didn't. He stood up instead.

He didn't say anything. But there were tears in his eyes.

Harry felt his blood run cold.

_I tried to talk to you. I tried to show you. But you wouldn't listen, understandably. I left cards and balloons and chocolate, and they all ended in the trash. And I get it. I know I was wrong and I feel terrible. If only I could go back in time and erase the pain I've caused, even if it means, leaving your life and never entering ut ever again, I would._

"Harry!" Niall hisses.

Harry looks at him blankly. But then he sees Zayn opening his locker. A paper flutters out and Harry feels like he would throw up. "I can't do this," he chokes out. The cup is chucked in the trash and then he is leaving the school and runs into the courtyard. His breaths are shaky, his fingers are trembling and his eyes are wet. He is a fucking mess. He has been for the past month.

_This is not a letter of me begging you to take me back. It is asking for forgiveness for ever hurting someone like you. I have done you so much wrong and so, I am laying my soul bare, Zayn._

_Hate me, if you want, but please never doubt that I love you. I love the ink on your skin and the stories behind each. I love the way you laugh with your tongue caught in your teeth and with crinkles beside your eyes. I love how you love your sisters to death. I love how you want to buy a house for your family once you've enough money because you've only lived in rent. I love how stupidly adoring you are of the stars. And I love how nothing is meaningless with you._

_I love you. And maybe not today, but I would love to start over. Someday, maybe._

_Someday._

Harry doesn't realise he is crying until there's a hand on his shoulder. He sucks in a breath and stills because he knows the shape of the palm and the smell of the cologne wafting in the air around him. He is scared to turn around, but he does. And he nearly cries out when he sees it's Zayn.

It's Zayn. His Zayn.

Well, not anymore.

"Someday?" Zayn asks, and Harry realises he is crying as well.

And then Zayn's kissing him. Harry gasps, and then cradles Zayn's face in his palms. He melts right into the tattoed arms around him and the warmth of his solid body against his, holding him against the wall. It was one month of guilt and tears and betrayal, one month with just memories and daydreams and nothing else.

Zayn smiles when he pulls back, "Why not today?"

_His Zayn_ , Harry thinks, heart bursting with joy.

He kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> hope i lived up to your expectations!


End file.
